What’s up? It’s quite strange how you’re simultaneously typing out and reading this letter to yourself. It’s as if your own thoughts are echoing in your brain. Hello-o-o-o… Hi-i-i-i… (good use of the 500-700 words there, buddy).
Right now, you’re writing this letter to yourself to tell yourself how you see who you really are (this doesn’t get any less confusing). I’m going to be honest with you, dude. The question of “How do you understand yourself?” is an extremely hard one to answer in some profound way.
What am I supposed to tell you? How am I supposed to define you? I could say you’re a college student, but you are not your occupation. I could say you’re a male but you are not your gender. I could say you’re a Filipino but you are not your nationality. Any traits I assign you or values I define you by are subject to change, but that doesn’t make you any less YOU. You’re a culmination of all of these things, and at the same time these traits and characteristics are defined by you and your actions.
If we look at it that way, there is no way for me to holistically say who exactly you are right now because you are never the same wherever or whenever you are. In reality, there is no authentic version of yourself that you’re forced to preserve in whatever situation you’re in. You’re a different Marco around your friends than when you are around your family. You were a different Marco in preschool than now that you’re in college. You’re even a different Marco when you’re alone. All of these versions of you are equally YOU; none of them are more authentic than the other.
So, my answer to the question of “How do you understand yourself?” is that rather than as the culmination of your traits, beliefs, and everything alike, I see you as the culmination of all past to future versions of yourself. You will act differently among different people and in different situations. You will change as time goes by. You will learn to like new things and drop things you once thought you liked. None of that will ever compromise who you are. It’ll simply change a version of you and how that version interacts with the rest of you.
Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t make your identity completely fluid. There’re certain values and characteristics that will stay among most if not all versions of you. You aren’t completely at the whim of your environment when it comes to how you speak and act. In the end, it’s up to you to judge whether or not a certain version of you needs to change or isn’t someone you want to be. So, I guess right now you’re just a person navigating through college life, maintaining who you used to be while simultaneously trying out new versions of you and seeing what sticks. THAT’S how I see you.
Good luck in college, dude. I hope that whoever you become; you’ll end up liking all versions of them.
Sincerely,
Marco (the version that just finished writing this)
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